did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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