I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize