i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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