he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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