Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
