3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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