So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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