he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
