Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
