He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Randomize
