Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize