I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
