she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
