So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
