There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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