when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
