is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
