all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
