remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
