how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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