When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
