I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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