Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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