maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
