I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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