i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize