He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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