I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
