so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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