Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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