At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
