My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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