I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
