You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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