I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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