I wish I could teleport
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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