Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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