I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
