I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
