She is in my trunk
I want to make a zoo with you.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Ketchup is God's man juice
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
