i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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