I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?