I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian