Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.