we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.