So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.