It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry