I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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