Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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