Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
