Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
