You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
