Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
