they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
