Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
