Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
