so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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