Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize