I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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